Dedicated to Konkana Sen….

Hey Everyone!

I really don’t know who my audience is and I am quite unsure if I have any to be precise. Anyway, blogging for me is like my personal web diary (referring to my previous blogs on love, freedom etc-hope you got the hint). Here I go again (after so many months).So, I saw Wake up Sid today- A Bollywood movie starring Ranbir Kapoor and my favorite Actress, Konkana Sen Sharma and I am sure my blog title must have given you an exact idea what I will talk about (this is to remind you that you don’t give me that ‘whatever’ look after reading it-too bad for you I won’t get to see it here).

Nevertheless, I remember watching her first film called Mr. & Mrs. Iyer and was completely awed by her performance. A Bengali girl talking in complete ease in her Tamilian accent was commendable (I got to know this fact only after I read it in a newspaper article because all through the film I thought she was actually a south Indian actress). But somehow, actresses look for such meaningful cinema in the beginning of their careers and getting one is like getting a pearl from one of the thousand shells in the ocean(must have been easy task for her being the daughter of the film director Aparna Sen) .

The next Sen Movie I saw was Page 3, well again one of a kind. The director’s hard work was indeed there, but she provided the sole with her acting skills with no more Tamilian accent this time. So many people from the media industry related their life to hers and she definitely deserved the appreciation. Movies like 15 Park Avenue; Luck by Chance and Life in a Metro were like a cherry on the cake- all praiseworthy roles. I really don’t know how I find myself in all the characters she plays. While watching her movies I feel as if I am the one, who loves, slaps, hates, cries. I guess, that’s the magic she spreads with her onscreen acting. Sometimes I wonder that we don’t really know these actors (as in how they are in their personal life) but some movies actually touch our sole (may be in my case- all her movies make an impact on my mind).

Well, Konkana I know you will never even have the time or even a slight idea that somebody has dedicated a blog to you after seeing one of your movies rather all your movies, who is not a movie critic or a great writer but definitely a great fan of yours. Keep up the good work! (And for those who actually managed to read the whole blog without yawning- how about writing a comment about this one- criticism accepted).

Cheers!!

The Pain called ‘Love’

It has been 1 month now that he is not in my life anymore….

Even after being in a relationship I really don’t know what love is and trust me I don’t want to know anymore coz how much I know is good enough to give me the pain of loss of love. What exactly is love? Is it this addiction that makes a person crazy for the person he/ she is in love with? Does a person’s life just centre on that person only? How does he /she become the most important person in our lives? If he / she leave us why do we feel sad?

These questions make me mad each n every moment. I try telling myself every night before going to sleep that the next morning I will be different, happy and will not think about him, but…. I feel as if I have lost all the happiness in my life, even the power to smile. I am not able to find any reason to be happy.

When he was going away he said that, ‘I will never come back in your life’. Though I still call him but he ignores me the way we ignore any unwanted calls. How do I tell him I love him a lot? I fail to understand how can somebody love you so passionately at one time and ignore you at the other time? Was that love?

While writing this blog may be tears rolled down my eyes but it doesn’t really make a difference to the person who it is written for coz now I don’t even have the right to tell him what I feel for him. Every moment I ask god to relieve me of this pain called love coz now I don’t want to love , but somehow I feel I have never been in love more ….

It's a vicious circle...

Life is a vicious circle. Whatever goes around comes back.

There was a time when a good friend of mine used to call me and tell me that his girl friend doesn’t know how to talk romantically with him. It was a kind of strange thing to hear and I often wondered that instead of telling me that, he should tell her how he felt but then he used to say that he gets bored with her. So instead of messing up things, I decided to speak to her and convey her what problems he was having not realizing the fact that she would take it otherwise that her boy friend was opening her heart out to me.

I know it’s a regular story but then that time I was single and to be very frank there came a time when I too enjoyed that attention that I got from him. But…..

I am not single anymore but somewhere I have come across the same situation but from a different point. Today I am the girl friend and my better half feels bored and says that why I have to think and talk and why can’t I talk to him all the time freely.
I have been put in someone else’s shoes to understand how she would have felt that time. My boy friend has big social circle n innumerable ‘good’ friends. It’s not that I don’t want him to go and meet his friends but then whenever I am not able to meet him, he has his friends at his rescue. He has complained the same things that I used to once hear as a friend. I have been trying to mend things but then somewhere I feel cursed from a hurt heart.
I indeed have realized my mistake because in spite of trying hard I am losing the person I love the most.